Hello there. I didn’t see you come in! Oh you found the door open? Jeeves must have forgotten to close it on his way out. You just can’t find good help these days can you? It’s like I was saying to Lord and Lady von Tophatmonocle the other day on my yacht…
Oh poo and crackers. I’m not really that posh, I just wanted to impress everybody. It’s just a desperate plea for attention. You’ll have to get used to it because it’s going to be one hell of a recurring theme.
So this is a blog. Just another one to add to my list of many, now defunct, past attempts at a blog. Why do I have this blog? I have no fucking idea. But bloggers are arrogant, self-absorbed and pretentious human beings so I thought I’d fit in perfectly.
I FINALLY BELONG!
My best friend, Haya (remember this name because she’ll be coming up a lot as well and you’ve got to keep up), keeps nagging me to start one and it’s incredibly hard to say no to her. It’s like saying no to an abandoned, cupcake deprived puppy. It’s just cruel. You can’t say no to puppies, especially puppies who’ve never experienced the joy of a cupcake.
There I go veering off topic again. Well, technically it’s not off topic since I never had a topic to begin with.
So. Yeah. Later.