The Swamp Monster Has Spoken:

by Eman

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I envy girls who can go an entire day without spilling something on themselves, their hair is never frizzy and they always have just the right amount of lipstick on their lips. I’m always perfectly clean and proper in the morning, but come 3 PM I transform into something that you’d expect to crawl out of a swamp and devour innocent campers. But it’s understandable, I always have my feet on a table, I talk with my mouth full and I’m always pulling some stunt. Suffice it to say, I have awful etiquette. Don’t get me wrong, I can be a perfect lady when I want to. I can smile and keep my mouth shut and not burp at the table when I have to, but it’s so tedious!

College started a few days ago and I just finished polishing up my schedule. My classes seem really dull: Political Economy of Oil and Natural Resources, Comparative Political System, Study and Practice of Diplomacy… Excuse me while I go drown myself in a soup bowl. But it is what it is, I chose to major in international affairs and this is what I have to put up with. Meanwhile my friend is taking Poetry and Drama – the lucky bitch. Of course she’s whining about those classes. I’d like to say the grass is always greener on the other side but man, that saying is so overused! It’s something you’d expect a 40-year old English teacher to say.

I haven’t written anything here in such a long time because after that story I posted everything sounded so bland; like when you’re eating cotton candy and then someone offers you a watermelon. The watermelon, although very sweet, pales in comparison to the sickeningly sugary cotton candy. I kept waiting for something brilliant to strike but I realized I’d be waiting a very long time. Then I got depressed and moped around like a contemporary Kurt Cobain (minus the muscial genius and drugs), but now I’m over it and I’ve had to accept the fact that I’m getting stupider every day. It doesn’t help that I still have my UREP project to work on, my instructor moved away and now I have a new one. It’s like transitioning from a Volkwagen to a 2009 Toyota. Dreadful. I still have a dozen more people I need to interview so you’d better look out because I’ll be ambushing you soon.

There’s a Barça game later, god bless la liga for playing late. Messi is an injured mess of a man but hopefully Bojan will get more playing time now. It’s not fair to leave one of your best cantera on the bench (of course I have ulterior motives for this conviction!)

My sister is doing my head in, she insists I know Harry Potter and I have to introduce her.