Eman the Conqueror

by Eman

I’ve always thought we needed another plague. There are too many people in the world for it to be efficient. I wish we could get a really selective plague that only kills the most worthless and useless human beings.

I’d be the first to go.

It would be nice if we could control germs and parasites. I don’t think it would be too hard, I mean they don’t even have a brain do they? We could insert tiny nano chips into their body (if they have a body, I always imagine them as blobs of yuck) and control them with electric pulses. We could stitch billions of them together to make an army of germ monsters that will take over the world.

There wouldn’t be much to take over though, everyone would have died of smallpox.

Let me rethink the plan, the germs would only be pussy diseases like the cold or the flu, then everyone will be too sick to fight and I could storm into any palace anywhere in the world and take over! I could have a secret arsenal of killer germ-monsters like HIV and Hepatitis which I’ll use on my worst enemies. As soon as I have enemies that is.

I’ve never had a proper nemesis. I’ve always wanted one. I need a Joker to my Batman, all the enemies I’ve had were the girls that sat on my bench or the kid that took my candy bar. I only have one person who is close to being a Joker.


A name that could curdle milk and cause a cows teats to fall off.

The vilest of all human beings. A monster, a vicious and grotesque beast of a woman.

I’ve told and retold the stories of our battles too many times to recall, but I won’t say them here. Not now.

Asma’a if you’re reading this you nasty, putrid pig, I haven’t forgotten what you did. And I shan’t be satisfied until I have plucked off every last hair on your scalp.

Maybe that’s going a bit too far, but I’m bored. When I’m bored I like to rattle off archaic and violent insults at people. It’s a lot of fun, and a much better pastime than my last. Hehe.