The Beast

by Eman

So I’ve taken up a new nasty habit recently. It’s embarrassing but I’m hoping that talking about it will make it go away, and perhaps help me figure out why it persists.

I growl.

I subconsciously growl. It’s frightening because I have two different explanations to why I have this problem and they’re both disturbing:

First, mama please don’t be frightened, but I might be turning into a werewolf. This is unlikely though because I can’t recall being intimate with any werewolves recently. We will know soon enough because tomorrow night is a full moon. So if I sprout a furry tail and hairy back, run mama, run. It could be fun though, I’d enjoy frolicking in the woods in someplace like Hamburg where the weather is nice and there are many deer to eat. Maybe I could marry the Prince of Hamburg (there is one, right?) and be a fair maiden by day and a beast by night.

That could be interpreted in more ways than one.

Second, this growling may occur as a result of repressed rage, since I’m not allowed to express my emotions very often.

Oh it’s probably the former!

On a completely different note, this semester’s grades are out and I found mine very favorable. Extremely favorable. Supremely favorable.

I googled “Prince of Hamburg” and I got this picture. Darn I hope it’s the blondie, he is handsome. Look at that smile.