Forthwith and Tallyho

by Eman

Underwater creatures scare me, but in a good way. I mean, when you think about it, these things live suspended in salt water, whales and sharks and other giant beasts that weigh tons just float around serenely like they’re Miranda Kerr. And the oceans are so huge, we can’t possibly know every being that exists within them. For all we know there might be dragons living in the deepest recesses of the Pacific Ocean.

I sometimes imagine that the middle of the Earth’s core is inhabited by dragons and other living things with thick skin and beady eyes whose movements cause earthquakes and shift teutonic plates. One day they’ll come out, when they’ve had enough of us. They’ll go, “right, I’ve had it with them humans. All they do is bitch and complain and drill our heads in, bloody twats.” and another will say, “jolly well, let us submerge them in fire and ash until they all perish and the Earth’s core becomes as Hell, forthwith and tallyho gentlemen!” After that we will all die, because when these underground beings of fire and wrath band together nothing can stop them. The Earth will burn for a million years.

So the moral of this post is, well it’s, uhm… it’s, the moral of this post is don’t do drugs. Also try to use the words forthwith and tallyho as often as possible to sound smart and British.

Photo by fcknostalgia