2:06 AM

by Eman

It just occurred to me that I should have documented my time at my job from day one, it would’ve made for some hilarious reading. So I’ll probably start doing that from Sunday. On Thursday I had a tour with a guide, it was akin to having my brain pulled out of my nostril like the ancient Egyptians did before they mummified people. I completely zoned out 10 minutes in and pretended that all the things on display were mine and that I was a queen. The guide mistook my lack of giving a shit for stupidity and so he asked me “maybe you don’t understand English so good because you’re not understanding me”. Mmmm, yes that’s the only reason it could be! I’m an idiot who doesn’t understand! Of course! That’s the problem, not your own broken English. Definitely.

People generally think I’m an idiot when they first meet me, and I absolutely love playing one! When you’re an idiot no one expects much from you, and they’re not so cautious around you. Like these two people who work with me, they communicate in French sometimes thinking I wouldn’t understand. Hehehehehe. But I do! It’s my only source of enjoyment so I think I’ll keep playing the fool until my punishme- er internship is over.

So Cesc is joining Barcelona! I don’t know what I enjoy more, a future of moc mocs or witnessing Arsenal’s despair over the loss of their only good player. They really are a classless bunch them “gooners”. But they’re English! It’s a miracle they can even communicate between the beer and the pub chips and the beer. Also, they haven’t won anything since William the Conqueror took Normandy so you have to have some pity. I don’t think they even know what silverware looks like:

Just a classless, vulgar reminder.

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