The Misadventures of Eman

by Eman

First day back at uni.

Running on 30 minutes of sleep.

I dreamed someone was telling me, “here’s some music to help you sleep” and Monty Python’s Always Look on the Bright Side of Life started playing. Unfortunately that was my alarm.

I said hi to some of my professors, they said nice things. They asked me when I’m graduating. I told them likely never if you don’t add more classes you mushroom headed freaks from the depths of hell.

It took the Coffee Bean three tries to get my order right. I have a very particular preference when it comes to the milk to coffee ratio.

Four people asked me for directions. I gave the first three proper directions, but the fourth girl had a very irritating face so I directed her to the library instead of the main building.

Now I’m sitting at this sad table with a coffee I sweat for, waiting for Haya to come and save me from myself.

And it’s only 8:45, will update.

Update 1: I’m looking at Forbes’ richest people list. Scouting for paramours or planning a grand larceny – undecided.

Update 2: Haya is yelling at me. I yelled back. Now I’m sulking.

Update 3: Not sulking anymore.

Update 4: I don’t like anyone from the Richest People list. Most of them are old and Jewish or old and Russian or just old.

Update 5: My coffee tastes like piss now and Jaz is very tan.

Update 6: Maha says there are 8000 new undergrads this semester. Mercy.

Update 7: first class is torment, wanted to blow my cussing brains out. Turns out there’s a new study plan that I could be eligible for that will have me out of uni by next year. Investigates.

Update 8: I’m about to fall over from the heat and exhaustion. I feel like I’ve been raised from the dead by an inexperienced necromancer. End.