Halfway Through the Wood

by Eman

This is big.

I’ve been keeping this enormous secret for so long, but I think the world has reached such a terribly low point that I must interfere and attempt to rescue the human race from their misery.

I have found the cure.

The cure for our isolation, the cure for our desolation, the cure for the plague that has been riding our back from the day we were cast from our mothers’ breast!

I discovered it three years ago, when I was clawing my way out of a bottomless chasm of misery, and I haven’t looked back since. Its powers are beyond that of any other force in the universe. Imagine something faster than a neutrino, more powerful than the splitting of an atom, tackier than Jersey Shore and you will be picturing it, the force of enduring happiness I call Haya’s smile.

Before you scoff, call me absurd and go back to that incognito tab you were browsing, hear me out.

If there pictures of my mental state before and after I met this girl, they’d look like this:

Before

After

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I once bet her that the next person she smiles at would smile right back. She smiled at one of the cleaning ladies who was sporting the glummest look you could imagine, and the lady smiled back like she was seeing her baby for the first time in 15 months.

My theory is, we take Haya’s smile, magnify it with lasers and shit and broadcast it over the world.

Cancer? gone.

World hunger? No more.

Nickleback? Dead.

Satire aside, I really want to declare my adoration for the smile that changed my life, and its owner who is the most loving, kind-hearted, selfless person I have ever met. Someone who will sacrifice everything for the people they care about, a self-flagellating masochist who would rather bleed than accuse. She has so much forgiveness in her heart, it astounds me. I am an admirer, a worshipper of her character. I am proud of her and I love her, and I am so grateful she is my friend. I could never ask for a better half.

One day I will write a book about her, and it will be five volumes and cheesier than a pizza.

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